Friendship!

Many can't continue their friendship after certain age. May be some exemptions; mostly forget their colleague. But I notice, women could vontinue their friendship even after retirement; but men part,  due to politics, ego and financial status; sometimes dementia.

Both in India and globally — and there are some interesting social and psychological reasons behind it.

Indian Perspective

Women’s Friendships

In India, women—especially in middle and older age—often form emotionally supportive networks. These ties may have roots in school, neighborhood, or workplace connections, and after retirement, they tend to nurture them through phone calls, WhatsApp groups, temple visits, or small gatherings.

Reason: Social conditioning encourages women to value emotional sharing and group cohesion over competition.

Practical factor: Many women retire earlier or have fewer geographic relocations due to job transfers, so they remain in touch with familiar circles.

Men’s Friendships

Men in India tend to have more activity-based or situation-based friendships (e.g., colleagues, cricket buddies, political allies). 

Once the shared context (workplace, club, business) disappears, the bond weakens.

Reasons:

1. Status sensitivity — after retirement, financial disparities become more visible and awkward.

2. Ego & politics — ideological differences often harden with age.

3. Lower emotional maintenance — men rarely make deliberate efforts to keep in touch outside of a shared activity.

Extra factor: For some, cognitive decline (including dementia) or health issues quietly reduce social engagement.

Global Perspective

Similarities:

In Western countries, studies also show women maintain larger, more emotionally rich friend networks in later life, while men’s social circles shrink after retirement.

A Harvard study (2017) found that older men without strong friendships are more prone to loneliness and depression compared to women.

Differences:

In some cultures (e.g., parts of Europe and East Asia), older men keep friendships alive through structured community groups—retired men’s clubs, morning coffee groups, chess clubs. This acts as a “replacement workplace” for social contact.

In Nordic countries, men and women alike often belong to lifelong sports or hobby associations, which helps them maintain ties into old age.

Key takeaway:

Globally, women are more likely to keep friendships alive due to a stronger emphasis on emotional exchange and regular communication. Men often need a shared context or structured activity to sustain bonds—and without it, the friendship fades.

Men’s friendships are more fragile neurologically and behaviorally compared to women’s in late life—it’s quite fascinating and ties into brain chemistry and social norms.

Here’s the deeper neurological + behavioral angle on why men’s friendships often fade faster than women’s as they age.

1. Brain Chemistry & Social Bonding

Oxytocin vs. Testosterone

Oxytocin (the “bonding hormone”) promotes emotional connection and is released during trust-building conversations. Women’s oxytocin response is generally stronger and more easily triggered through talking, empathy, and shared experiences.

Testosterone can dampen oxytocin’s effects. Men typically maintain higher testosterone levels well into mid-life, which makes them lean toward task-oriented interactions rather than purely emotional ones.

Dopamine Pathways

Men’s brains often link friendship to shared activities (sports, work projects, problem-solving). Remove the activity, and the dopamine “reward loop” disappears — leading to less incentive to maintain the bond.

2. Behavioral & Cultural Patterns

Women’s “maintenance” style

Women tend to sustain friendships by checking in without a reason — calling “just to talk” or sharing small life updates. This keeps emotional intimacy alive.

Men’s “event” style

Men are more likely to connect around events or activities (game, meeting, trip). Once those events stop (retirement, kids moving out), the “meeting points” vanish.

3. Late-Life Cognitive Changes

Risk of Social Withdrawal

Men are statistically more prone to withdrawing socially after major life role changes (retirement, loss of spouse), sometimes because they identify strongly with their profession.

Dementia & Mild Cognitive Impairment

In both India and globally, studies show slightly higher rates of early cognitive decline in men compared to women. This subtly erodes social engagement even before diagnosis — people may “fade away” rather than deliberately break contact.

4. The Global Exception Patterns

In Japan, “old men’s cafes” and hobby clubs help men sustain bonds well into their 80s.

In Denmark & Sweden, mixed-gender community groups normalize men’s emotional sharing.

In urban India, some retired men’s WhatsApp groups are slowly becoming this “replacement workplace” — but still not as emotionally sustaining as women’s circles.

If you think about it, women’s lifelong “friendship maintenance” is like watering a plant regularly, while men’s is like meeting only during cricket season — once the season’s over, the grass gets dry.

I could also give you a set of small but proven habits that help men maintain lifelong friendships even after retirement — these come from cross-cultural studies and might surprise you.

It’s actually a subtle but very real dynamic in India — and it’s different from what you see in many Western or East Asian countries

Why old workplace rivalries linger longer in India

1. Workplaces as identity hubs

In many Indian careers, especially government, PSU, or large private firms, one’s position and authority become a huge part of self-worth.

After retirement, people often still carry the “I was the boss / I was the junior” mindset, which can quietly affect how they interact.

2. Hierarchy memory

In Western companies, flatter structures and job changes mean colleagues cycle through roles and forget rank differences.

In India, hierarchical relationships are deeply imprinted, so an ex-subordinate may still avoid casual banter with an ex-boss — even 20 years later.

3. Competition over post-retirement status

This could be political positions, association leaderships, community committees, or even housing society influence.

Rivalries can resurface in these smaller arenas, often mirroring old office politics.

4. Small professional circles

In many Indian sectors, the same few names keep appearing in conferences, alumni meets, and social events. Old grudges get refreshed rather than forgotten.

5. Reluctance to “lose face”

If two retired colleagues had a history of disagreement, making the first friendly move might feel like a loss of dignity.

This is less of a barrier in cultures where casual reconnection is normalized.

In contrast, in places like Canada or Australia, people change jobs more often, workplace hierarchies are weaker, and post-retirement friendships often ignore old professional tensions — because they’re not tied to lifelong status.

A short “cultural immunity” trick some Indian retirees use to break these ego barriers and revive old friendships without awkwardness.

Peculiarly , men fight among them , for political party reasons too. But women don't do that. There may be gossips but not betrayal 

It's my observation.  Others ma have some  different mindsets.

Anyway, wishing u all a happy friendship day