Why Do People Hurt Others? A Practical Reflection
All great teachers and moral traditions advise one simple principle: do not cause harm to others. Yet, in everyday life, people continue to hurt one another. This is not because human beings consciously decide, “Let me harm others.” In fact, most people do not take such a pledge. Still, harm happens—again and again.
If we observe closely, we will notice an important pattern:
A person usually hurts others only under certain conditions.
These conditions are quite common:
When one’s ego is hurt
When one feels insulted, whether in public or in private
When one suffers loss, or even fears a possible loss in business or career
When greed takes control
When a person gains power and wealth, and expects unquestioned obedience
When emotions are deeply involved, especially in matters related to relationships
Even in our traditional stories, we see that sages—people of great discipline—sometimes lost their temper and cursed others. Later, they would calm down and show a path for redemption. This shows that emotional disturbance is a human tendency, not limited to ordinary people alone.
If this is the reality, then a question arises:
Apart from police, courts, and government systems, what practical ways can help maintain discipline in society?
Moral advice alone is not sufficient. What we need are practical mechanisms within individuals and communities.
First, self-awareness is essential. A person must learn to recognise when anger, ego, or fear is taking control. Even a small pause before reacting can prevent harm.
Second, social accountability plays a major role. When a person is part of a circle—family, friends, or community—that questions and guides behaviour, there is a natural restraint.
Third, reputation and self-respect act as silent regulators. People behave better when they value their integrity and the respect of others.
Fourth, ego and ambition must be channelled, not suppressed. The desire to excel should be directed towards personal growth, not domination over others.
Fifth, many harmful actions arise from insecurity and fear of loss. A person who feels secure—financially and emotionally—is less likely to act unfairly.
Sixth, handling power responsibly is critical. Power without feedback or checks often leads to misuse. Even small systems of accountability can make a difference.
Seventh, there is a need for emotional education. People are rarely taught how to deal with insult, rejection, or anger. Without such skills, reactions become impulsive and harmful.
Eighth, discipline must become a habit. It is built not in big moments, but in everyday actions—honesty, respect, and responsibility in small matters.
Finally, the strongest control is an internal moral compass:
the ability to do what is right even when no one is watching.
In conclusion, people do not harm others by default. Harm occurs when emotions override thinking, ego overrides empathy, and fear overrides fairness. Therefore, the solution lies not only in external control, but in building inner discipline and supportive social structures.
Only then can the simple advice—“do not hurt others”—become a living reality
